Talking to Children About Pet Loss
My-Dog.info > Getting a Dog or Puppy
Losing a pet is difficult at any time, but for families faced
with imminent loss, especially an unexpected loss it’s
particularly tough. Families often look for advice on how to
break tough news to their young children.
Dr. Cindy Adams of the Ontario Veterinary College specializes
in veterinary communication and has developed a comprehensive
guide to pet loss and client grief. According to Dr. Adams the
best things you can do when breaking bad news to children is to:
- be honest
- allow them to feel sad
- don't try to cheer them up, let them grieve
- don't rush out and replace the pet until the child has
had time to get through their grief and is willing to
accept and get attached to a new companion (this could
take a week or a year, depending on the child and the
bond they had with their pet).
One tip Dr. Adams especially wants to share is that pet death
is not a "dress rehearsal" for "human death".
She advises that pet loss is a significant loss and that the
impact can be as profound for a child as other losses. It is
important to listen, and pay attention to your child's behavior
as a guidepost for how they are doing. Children’s grief is
best described as a roller coaster. They are fine one minute and
crying the next. Be patient and there to talk when they need you.
After the death or humane euthanasia has occurred, having your
children help develop a family memorial to the pet is a great way
for them to remember the good times they shared together. Writing
a poem or a story about favorite activities, collecting photos
into a photo album, drawing pictures of them playing and cuddling
with their pet in life, planting a perennial flower, shrub, tree
or even small garden, and other pet-centered projects may help
them to ease their grief.
Talking as a family about what the pet meant to each member
will give children an opportunity to share their thoughts and
emotions. If extended grief occurs, professional counsellors can
be engaged to help them through their loss. Your veterinarian or
physician can refer your child to a psychological caregiver. Your
local veterinary hospital and community library may also stock
pamphlets or short books designed to help children understand pet
loss.
Reprinted with permission from www.animalhealthcare.ca
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